RavenHearse Family History

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Our grandparents, Vlad & Stůrm Ravenhearse, were forced to leave the old country in 1823 by narrow-minded, superstitious townsfolk who had no appreciation for Vlad's brilliance. After several months adrift they landed in the American Southwest, and soon re-established the family business.

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Our father, Lucien Ravenhearse, was born in 1827. It is unknown exactly when our "Uncle" Ghastly Ravenhearse was born, or even if he is actually our uncle. Our father was known to remark that there was always a little Ghastly in the family

manor as long back as he could remember. And as our father was growing up,  he also always addressed Ghastly as

"Uncle." So perhaps Ghastly is actually our Great Uncle. We'll never know for sure. Of course, we've asked Uncle Ghastly, but like most Ghastly responses, his replies shed little light on the subject. When we've been able to make contact with our Grandfather, his responses are likewise uninformative.What is known is that Uncle Ghastly is one of those types who

refuses to grow up (every family has one, don't they?).

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So he remains to this day appearing as an eight-year old boy. That is, during those rare appearances. For in addition

to refusing to grow up, Uncle Ghastly is also painfully shy. So one is more likely to see what we refer to

as 'Ghastly Effects,' rather

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than Uncle Ghastly himself. Because of his shyness, he mostly tends to stay around the manor. However, recently he has

also shown a fondness for rides in our family's hearses. Many of our customers have commented that there 'was something Ghastly' in the back of the hearse during their ride. During those rides it's truly comforting to know that Ghastly is 'out and about' and getting some desperately needed fresh air.

Our mother, Lucretia, and father met in the fall of 1862, and they were wed in 1870 (our family has always believed in a proper engagement period). As to our mother's family history, little is know, and even less is discussed.

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Lucretia and Lucien continued the family business. In 1883, the eldest of the three Ravenhearse boys, Grievsley, was brought

into the world. He was followed in 1895 by Gravesly, and then in 1901 by our only sister, Claudicia. Finally, in 1907

the youngest of the three Ravenhearse boys, Grimsley, appeared.

Our father retired in 2005, leaving the family business to us; his three sons. Our parents now spend most of their time

traveling, and are constantly flying off to some remote corner of the globe. On December 21st, 1991 we were blessed

by the newest acquisition to the Ravenhearse clan, Wolfgang Wilhelm. Although still a young boy by Ravenhearse

reckoning, he is growing into a fine young man. Although he often appears to be young and innocent, like a Gremlin, he

can be highly mischievous at times. He loves appearing as a 12-year old magician when we put on children's parties

and entertaining the kids with his magic. At first we were concerned that he was taking after his Uncle Ghastly, but now

we have no doubt he'll be fully ready to take over as head of the clan, and run the family business, when we

three brothers move on. 

 

One benefit of the recent publicity on our family business is that it's helped us uncover some long lost family members.

Our dear grand nephew, Lucius, saw some of the articles written about the family, and was able to make contact with us.

He's most eager to learn the family trade (his own early education having been cut short by the unfortunate accident).

He now often accompanies his elders on their business rounds. And, of course, it is with great delight that we were unable to unearth our beloved, Great Uncle Leichen. Always willing to give a hand, our great uncle has been the family

grave-digger for several generations of RavenHearse